Fantasies were meant to be told.

“Have you ever fantasized about me?”

Every time we are together.
After you leave.
When I’m alone with my thoughts

In my fantasies we never talk.
But I still hear you.

Everything is so natural.
It’s like I’m listening to your soul.
When my fingers move, they know exactly where to touch, where to stop.
They have a mind of their own.
Like your desire is the one telling them where to go.

It’s never the same fantasy.
But it is always as intense.

When I close my eyes I can see every inch of your body.
It’s strange because I never saw you like that.
Naked, relaxed, trusting.
Dream takes over reality.
You smell as beautiful as you do now.
And in my room, your perfume pervades the walls, the bed, my essence…

“You’re making me blush…”

Just like you make me tremble.
In my fantasies, and here.
Every time we speak.
Every time we are together my heart races.

I remember the first time we spoke.
It’s burned in the embodiment of me.
I turned that corner and crashed straight in to your eyes.
Those green eyes with notes of hazel.
Your stare told me to speak when I had no words to say.

I saw myself in you.
Vulnerable and frail.
Engulfed in solitude and despair.
That gaze threw me in to your past.
Showed me that it was just like mine.
Forged by struggles and sacrifices.
Bathed in tears.
Fuelled by anger, revolt, frustration…


I wish I could but I can’t.
This connection, this bond.
It’s stronger than me.
No matter how hard I try to pull away it snaps me back like a dog on a leash.

“Please stop… please don’t…”

Don’t!? Don’t what!? Don’t feel!? Don’t love!? Don’t crave!?
You want me to Stop?
I think it would be easier to rip the moon out of the sky!
I have held this in for so long it’s almost hard to breathe.
Like my lungs are filled with this… this, emotion!
It wants to come out, explode, rip my chest apart and invade the world.

I have held this in for so long it’s almost hard to breathe.

I don’t want to say it out loud.
I’m scared of that.
If I speak it, it somehow becomes real.
It leaves my fantasies and it’s no longer mine.
It’s ours.
And you know that can’t be.
Not now and maybe not ever.

Please don’t cry…
I want to see you smile.

“How can I? How can I not cry, after all you said…”

Would you prefer I lied to you?


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